I never intended to make this blog
as site of ‘dating tips’.
There are experts who have done it,
and better than me.
But a friend, we were once in same
collge, she is a year older than me,
asked me:
"Why some guys prefer to be with
older ladies?"
"How about this… we’ve made contact
online but he avoided to meet me
in person. What’s wrong? Am I not
so attractive that he only enjoyed
having conversation and correspondence?"
Owww… those questions must be personal!
***
:p anyway, here’s the answer of question #1
Why? It’s a matter of preference, or taste.
When it comes to loving someone
outside the family, we subconsciously
refer to our past experiences.
With our parents, a mother or father,
biologically. Or a mother figure
and a father figure. Significant other.
Girls tend to ‘fall in love’ with
their dad in early childhood, as well
boys to their moms. Thus we know the terms:
Mommy’s boy or Daddy’s girl
If the relationship with the opposite-sex
parent figure was nice, when people grow-up,
they tend to look for the same qualities
in a partner owned by their parent.
Example: a girl who her daddy is smart,
talkative, comical, funny and religious.
When she’s an adult, she subconsciously
screening the guys… and will be in
serious relationship with a specific guy
who reminds her of the traits her dad has.
But if there were absence or the
relationship wasn’t too smooth in early
childhood… this is where the problem
comes out when they’re adult.
They are looking for a parent figure
in a romantic partner.
It’s ok to take turn being parent and
on other moment as the little kid.
Problem remains if that person never
want to grow-up. They always want to
be served, be understood, be listened,
be entertained, be spoon-fed… oooh!!
And this kind of people are tend to
date with an opposite-sex who oftenly
older in age, or more mature in attitude.
From here, we know what OEDIPUS COMPLEX
or ELECTRA COMPLEX is.
And ‘Peter Pan Complex’ as in one of
the song lyrics:
I don’t wanna be told
To grow up.
(Simple Plan)
***
Question #2
Why… only chat and e-mails, but never
really in a real face-to-face contact?
Imagine this… you’re phoned by a telemarketer
who is an ‘expert chatter’ as that person
already well-trained to do it well:
From greeting, introduction, small-talk
until finally touching the real deal:
"Would you like to buy…?"
Then you started to stall.
You keep saying, "I was busy" but still
enjoying the excitement of being chased
or being wanted.
You always avoid to meet that person
as you’re afraid of the consequence
that in the end you will be asked to buy.
Remember the analogy in previous BLOG…
Advertising = love-letters
Promotion = dating
Buying = marriage
And the conclusion?
That kind of person only enjoy the talk,
but never intended to buy.
They only pursue the sensation of being
an icon in cyber-world or a character
in a chat-room, adored and desperately seeked.
Maybe they don’t even know of who they really
are. There are gaps between the CREATED IMAGE
they made in the internet and the REAL IDENTITY
AND PERSONALITY they have in the real world.
They feel more comfortable and becoming
more confident to hide behind tall-story,
polished profile, retouched photos, etc.
They prefer to be in the comfort zone.
To keep the STATUS QUO, to stay online
and avoid real contact. Afraid of reality.
Are you sure you want to date with
this kind of person?
Imagine, one day you will marry this
person… he’s in Shanghai, you’re
in California and the priest who announce
"I now pronounce you husband and wife…"
is in Rome.
Wowww… to be more nerdy, your guests
are ‘attending’ through web-cams and
tele-conferences. They congratulate you
through instant messenger from all over
the world.
And the priest type some more in the chat-room:
"You may now kiss each other…"
And you both touch each other’s computer
screens with your lips.
Wake up!
Is that your dream of a wedding?
Or you would still want to see how
this continues?
Next week, he is sending a package,
a mini-bottle containing his sperm to you.
(Don’t have to explain the detail
of how that liquid come out of his…)
And… you’re pregnant without ever
been touched by the man you’re married
with. He is willing to responsible
by sending you some money…
Enough! That’s not real…
Get a real life…
Ask him once again,
"When and where we’ll meet?"
If he still avoid face-to-face contact,
then please… for your mental health,
MOVE ON… don’t waste several months
only to be with someone isn’t real.
***
Gosh! I enjoy getting responses
from readers…
Thanks…
Next case, please…
+ yoDi +
