Yodster

Here’s a lesson for you all:

Always have a back-up plan!

My friend, Cathy, suddenly wanted to cancel
her plan to join the British Council
program. Is it the end of the world
for me?

Absolutely no!

I’ve found a substitute for her.
I met Melinda in 2004, she’s a Gfresh!
reader and I offer her the chance
to use the outline I’ve posted here.

And… she’s a real punch!
She kicks back to my inputs,
much stronger.. with her brilliance
and charm.

http://profiles.friendster.com/melindabarus

Prepare to rock your mind!

Cause, today, I’m presenting you
the result of my coaching.

A new writer?

Maybe, but only to answer some
tricky questions which might
bring her to join the program.

Cathy, you’ll regret this…

***

9. HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOUR ETHNIC ORIGIN (i.e. Javanese, Sundanese, Bugis, Bataknese, Dayaknese, Papuans, Ambonese, Chinese, Malay, etc)?

Please specify

I am a Karonese as my both parents are. Karo is one of six sub-cultures in

North Sumatra

which are popularly known as Bataknese (another five are:

North Tapanuli

/Toba,

South Tapanuli

, Simalungun, Dairi, and Nias). Most people I know do not recognize my ethnicity until I explain to them. As far as I remembered, I often explain my Karo-knowledge to others, because they usually thought my culture is the same with Batak Toba’s. In contrary, we, Karonese, differ with Batak Toba in many aspects; language, custom belief, food, dance, etc. But there are general similarities between these two sub-culture; we have a big concern of family relativity and we also have such a unique family position one to another (like ‘kasta’ in India, but more flexible) that has always coloured special occasions like engagement, wedding, or even a dance party. I see my own ethnicity as a special part of myself that I should feel proud of. I always thought that every people should also understand and love their own ethnicity. If everybody does, then it will be the foundation in respecting others’, knowing that other people also have the same concern to their own culture just as we do.

You did good! Uniqueness can be a spice…

12. WHY ARE YOU INTERESTED IN APPLYING FOR GLOBAL XCHANGE?

I am interested in applying to Global Xchange, briefly, because I am concerned about world peace, and the way we see it. Leaders all over the world shout it. The beautiful-brainy-behaved Miss Worlds never forget adding it into speeches. We dream of it, and we also pray for it. Maybe it is not an exaggeration to say that we’ve been searching the world peace everywhere, yet we haven’t really found it. Wars are still everywhere as negative stereotypes continue to develop. Unfortunately, it seems that we only consider those two-words as cliché; we fail to see the foundation needed to create that concept. The foundation is: to be aware of the diversity of culture and to be aware to the culture of diversity.  Realizing that this world consists of various cultures is only the beginning. Furthermore, we need to coexist in a culture of diversity; a system of norms, values and beliefs held by individual members of a community that are mutually receptive and complementing (Prof. Hans S. Park). Once we comprehend how important this is, we then need to actively work hand in hand starting it.

Respectively, we must be exposed to and trained in such a global environment to that goal mentioned before. I think Global Xchange (GX) comes up as an answer responding to that global need. By joining this culture-concerned programme, the participants are riding on the right vehicle; they are carried into a whole new concept of building a peaceful world. In my own experience, I may have tasted the concept in my current office. Working in a television company, I describe my friends and me are practically a united diversity. We come from various educational backgrounds, unlike other televisions which usually employ only graduations majoring in communication/broadcasting. Inside this company I work for, we can find agricultural graduations, then there are astronomers, chemicals, also economists who determine themselves working in their new area; television broadcasting.  Yes, we do work in the culture of diversity concept. Most of us find it difficult, of course. Because aside from having to adapt to a new office, an economic graduation for example, should also quickly master every details of television business; he/she is forced to be able to work with the same pace with another multidisciplinary employee. The economist then should put his/her economic theories aside, to the sake of the new value he/she might considered as unimportant before: rating performance.  This new important concept proves to create a healthy environment between the economist, me, and all other friends. It then diminish gap whatsoever, as we collaborate together in a good teamwork.

Consequently, what GX bring in to the world (especially to the society of

Indonesia

and the

UK

) is in the same concept with what I found in my office, in a wider spectrum even more. When we determine ourselves to the culture of diversity through this visionary programme, we should commit only to it and put our background aside. Living in a totally different place and people from our own would become a great opportunity to begin the big agenda: world peace.

If I am selected in GX, I would use this programme as a medium to what Maslow characterized as self-actualization. Self-actualization is the instinctual need of humans to make the most of their abilities and to strive to be the best they can. Whether they want it or not, self-actualizing people would embrace the facts and realities of the world, they would have a system of morality that is fully internalized, and they would be creative. Within the programme’s tasks, self-actualization could form in applying the education and experience gained.

Communication is power. Those who have mastered its effective use can change their own experience of the world, and the world’s experience on them.(Anthony Robbins) What the participants should do after volunteering for Global Xchange is to communicate it with local communities; to pass the empowerment to the society they belong. A new concept of facing differences then will occur, locally in the beginning, then spreading widely, and in that order: globally.

So, GX is a very valuable programme to join and to be succeeded that I and even everyone should be interested to apply.

You’re slapping everyone!

13. WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU COULD BRING TO GLOBAL XCHANGE?

These can include any interests, voluntary or community work experience or personal qualities you have.

The first time I saw the Global Xchange information in the British Council site, the only picture placed in that page makes me interested. I assume it was one of GX’s social activities in an Indonesian village. There we can see three people holding seeds of rice, preparing to plant them in a watery field. It can illustrate what the whole GX programme is all about. As those seeds need farmers to plant them in the right soil to make them grow, so do the messages that Global Xchange carries; they need messengers. Through the Global Xchange, trying to be a good messenger, I will give the best effort to learn how to choose the best soil, how to plant the seeds, and how to make my unemployed friends be interested in being a farmer. The knowledge from the six-months-activities will surely equipped me and hopefully, I could be a good role-model to my friends; trying to open their eyes to see many potential areas in

Indonesia

that if being cultivated, would eventually grants big harvest.

Willing to learn new skills, I also commit myself to intercultural understanding. Being a teacher in the future is the plan I have for my future, it also motivates me to grip every opportunity and experience that I would get from Global Xchange. Those experiences will surely empower me and also my future students.

Along with the motivations described above, I also have the proud of being an Indonesian with a specific sub-culture. Knowing exactly how others would value their own origin, I would always do the tasks given during the programme with an empathetically perspective. In doing group tasks, as I used to solve problem as an individual as well as in teamwork, I will be able to work together with any group I’m being placed; making myself useful for the best outcome of the group would be my objective.

I have broadcasting knowledge, which might be needed in completing personal or group assignments, such as using video camera or doing simple video editing. I have a special interest in football and photography. In voluntary work experience, I once taught a group of child labour.

That’s cool!

14. In no more than 1000 words please tell us how you believe volunteers can help in tackling global issues?

Words can destroy. What we call each other ultimately becomes what we think of each other, and it matters. (Jeanne J. Kirkpatrick)

The 911 tragedy has widened the gaps occur between our international relationships. The most observable fact proving it is how the stereotypes held by each side of the western and the eastern world were considered as the truth. This condition manipulates our perceptions in daily lives. We tend to exaggerate our sensitivity if it comes to the matter of ideology, religion, origin, etc. We tend to see different perspectives as enemy. Sadly, most of us are being insensitive to cure this ill point of view. We are far from what I have mentioned earlier; the culture of diversity.

While building a skyscraper proudly, the citizens of

Babel

were, in a sudden, having difficulties in understanding each other’s different languages. But apparently, being different (in languages) was the way out of their problem. Contrarily, being identical made them enter the negative deals area. One positive concept we could extract from

Babel

’s experience is: diversity could possibly create unity.

The condition of the ancient town

Babel

probably is similar with what we are facing. We now deal with differences, but we have not set our mind to consider them as our way out of our problem. The big task, now, is to change the mindset of our societies, and it is not easy - the government and mass media alone will not be able doing it. To be an active society taking part in intercultural communications may be one way to change the mindset. And this is where volunteers can take place. These special agents have the important role; to be the representatives of their societies. They have certain values; they are generally hard workers and they have the willingness to do tasks in anywhere they’re being placed.

Among other things, volunteers are able to tackle global issues because they are committed to one vision: giving their best to their community. It is the concept that Buddhists known as the outcome of metta meditation; cultivating loving kindness towards all sentient beings. Every religion is actually teaching this great concept; Moslems recognize it as giving alms (in form of zakat, infaq, tzedakah, and also doing goods) to others, and Christians describe the concept as loving each other just as one loves his/herself. With the role of these volunteers, the practice in dealing with global issues would be done effectively.

The most suitable ones to be selected as volunteers are the young people. Why? There are many reasons why they have always been promoted to join global-activities. The most argumentative reason is because the fact that many of them being exploited by irresponsible person or groups. They are put in to the wars, child labour, getting unequal access to education and justice system. By putting them into the right prospectus place, we are empowering the youths, and in the same time, opposing to the exploitation of youths.   

Another reason in choosing youth as volunteers: youths, of course, have longer life expectations than the adults. It makes them having the equipment to construct what to do with their future, and the world’s future as well. Positive inspirations in global issues such as concerning the culture of diversity, educations to poor-countries children, intercultural dialogue, global warming, etc in their young lives will be the foundation to build the new generation. Besides that, they are the ones who would become the future’s leader. Their psychological factor is the other reason. The age range they are at is the best time in forming their own identities. It is also the most effective time to maximize their learning and curiosity. Young people, too, have strong stamina and uplifted spirit that is very valuable in global issues collaborations.

Wow.. you develop a strong opinion from my outline.

Next…

15. In no more than 1000 words please describe your previous experience doing project with local communities. The description should indicate your role, the description of the project, the challenges, and the result.

Back when I attended my college, my campus regularly sends some students to be a volunteer to Jambore Anak Jalanan programme. This is an educative and entertaining weekend-camp made for labour children in

Jakarta

, to honour Indonesian National Children Day. This week-end event is held by Sahabat Anak Institution to answer the essential need of many labour children in

Jakarta

, which increasing rapidly in number. This local condition reflects the universal problem that hasn’t come to an end, despite the fact that the Convention on the Right of the Child stands globally. According to The UNICEF, Asia-Pacific region, including

Indonesia

, ‘contribute’ the largest number of child workers in the 5-14 age group, 127.3 million in total.

For those reasons, Sahabat Anak focuses its work on labour children, with a vision to make the labour children understand that they are worthy for they are human beings that God has uniquely created. The mission is to gather people in becoming the children’s best friends. These vision and mission were raised to repair these youngsters’ negative self-concept; as they feel that they develop differently with their friends whose parents could afford them to attend school.

The JAJ theme I was involved in was Aku dan Lingkunganku, or Me and My Environment. I was required by the committee to be an accompanying-sister. It was a good time in spending the outbound activities and the games as Asih’s sister. Asih was a second-grade a little girl whose job was singing on buses. She did that to make money in order to help her parents’ financial. My role was to help Asih in whatever she needs during the jamboree, like explaining the things she asks, and also encouraging her in group activities she involved. Me and the other accompanying-sisters-and-brothers should always accompany our buddy and be by our buddy’s side for the rest two days. We sang, played games, took a walk to a zoo, and many interesting educative things. In general, the challenges of this program were many kids we gather did not want to be involved in any activities. But luckily the kids were not so hard to be taught. The result was that these kids knew that they could have brighter future by having education and by loving their own environment. The other result was that the committee got the chance to gather several children to a study group that will be taught by the institution’s volunteers after the jamboree event. My group and I visited our buddies several times after the event, teaching the lessons they find difficult at their school.

Yeah… that’s what they’re looking for.

An altruist!

***

You’ve done your best, Melinda…

Now, it’s already sent, pray and hope for the result!

And.. you, readers, friends…

Who’s next?

+ yoDi +

Another popular topic in
demand, dating stages.

Let’s see in which level
(country) are you now?

The first step is:

SPAIN
Sweet Passionate Admirer In
Neighbourhood

You realize that you like a
new person, and you keep
wondering if this is the one.

HOLLAND
Hold On, Let’s Look After Next Date

After the first meeting, there
will be possibilities

ENGLAND
Every New Girl/Guy Lead Another
New Date.

It means.. you’re not ready to
have a commitment.

Or….

GERMANY
Growing Exciting Romantic Movement
After New Year

You’re advancing! And still together
after changing the calendar

Good for you!

Next is.. FRANCE

Fully Responsible And Nice Companion
Everywhere

The relationship with its affections
must be balanced with reality
and mutual understanding.

Finally.. you’re in ITALY

I Trust And Love You.

Yes.. ITALY, that’s the ultimate
level! Remember the sequences…

SPAIN, then to HOLLAND.

Then you must choose:

moving away to ENGLAND

or getting closer to GERMANY?

And finally after visiting
FRANCE you will have to live
in ITALY!

+ yoDi +

Solitude will show you how
To comprehend why you are here
It’s refreshment you earn for now
And help you find what truly near

Take time to pray
Before you begin tomorrow
To start the new day
And leaving all your sorrow

Solitude can be a cure
To understand yourself better
It’s refreshing your mind for sure
And help you know what does matter

Take time to rest
Before you return for more
To see life as best
And becoming better than before

+ yoDi +

Yes, this is another dating lesson.
It’s the result of my observation
and experiences of some friends
who shared me their case.

You’ve heard this:

Dogs are men’s best friends.

Let’s replace them with women.

In the game of dating, it’s the
men who start to throw frsibees.

Frisbees, are the attentions,
sweet-words, poetries, love-letters
and those silly stuffs that
she likes.

The game started as he choose
to play with a certain dog.
He throw the frisbees, near
and low… and the dog is able
to catch it and return it.

The game goes on and on…
And he will test this dog

"How fast she can react?
How long she can run?
How high she can jump?"

Translated version:
Did she know what am I doing?
And how far she will respond?
Is she smart enough?

If the man realize that she’s
just a stupid dog, then he
will move on.

If the dog is smart, he will
enjoy the game and the frisbees
will always in motion:

In his hand - Thrown - Caught
- Returned to his hand - …

And that’s the game!

Until the dog is tired….
This is where the game must stop,
bring her home, feed her and…

Most men never like to sleep
with a dog on the first day.
It takes time, from sleeping
outside, on the floor, on the couch,
on the room’s floor, under the bed,
and finally … they sleep together.

So does when he choose a woman,
he will avoid woman who is
‘too easy’ or suddenly jump
on his bed without being allowed.

Is she a dog or a bitch?
(bitch = female dog or the other meaning)

Dogs don’t follow a friend,
they follow a master, a leader.

So… you should balance your
love and discipline.

Don’t hit or spank! A dog can stand
receiving bad treatments as long
as its master still give food
and shelter.

But a lady, she can
put you in jail for
conducting domestic violence.

Think.. which dog is more loyal
to its master. The one chained
on its neck, or the one who
walk freely but never run too
far from its master?

Rather than making  your dog
loyal with "Chain of jealousy"
you should train her…

Cause if you rely on chain,
once released… the dog will
run away! And maybe will return
only for daily meal and a place
to sleep.

The younger the dog, it’s easier
to give her some important lessons.
Old dogs are usually lazy and
can’t learn new tricks or games.

As the dog-master, you should
always remember:

- Take her for afternoon walk
- Feed her with healthy food
- Give her a bath (together?)
- Train her to guard the house

Haha…

- Then, when you’re close enough
you can allow the dog to sleep
in your bed.

Always play the frisbees!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Disc_dog

But the most important thing is
in the first days… if you’ve
been tired of throwing frisbees
and she’s not responding…

Then, it’s time to move on!
Get a new dog who can play
your game.

Understand her also, she might
be tired or need some privacy.
When she’s reluctant to play
the frisbees, maybe it’s time for
her to have meal… or some
moments to be alone.

Don’t punish her with stick or
any form of violence.

Be gentle and balance love
with discipline. Respect each other!

It’s better to let her walk away
freely and always return to you
rather than to chain her neck
with many "Terms and conditions"

Woof..woof…

Ah, the puppy is there!

Come here little one, let’s play
another frisbee game…

Tell me when you’re ready…

+ yoDi +

Como El Padre Ama Sus Niños
(Seperti bapak mencintai anak-anaknya)

Cinta adalah tema yang umum dibahas di berbagai media pada setiap Februari, sama seperti umumnya anggapan bahwa “Setiap ortu mencintai anak-anak mereka”. Seperti ditegaskan dalam Yohanes 1:12, bahwa setiap orang yang percaya diberikan status sebagai anak dari Bapa di surga, demikian pula Tuhan mengasihi setiap anak-anak-Nya.

Seperti lazimnya dalam sebuah keluarga yang punya beberapa anak, seorang bapak selalu berusaha menyayangi dan bersikap adil pada setiap anaknya. Bapak ini sadar betul ada perbedaan karakter dan pola pikir dari setiap anak yang terkadang lupa bahwa mereka semua adalah saudara.

Anak mami
Ada salah satu anaknya yang menganggap sang bapak sangat agung dan harus dihormati. Bapak ini dianggapnya selalu mengawasi setiap kesalahan, itu sebabnya si anak kadang merasa nggak enak saat memohon. Si anak sering meminta bantuan kepada sosok ibu, agar pesan dan permohonan disampaikan ke bapak, supaya nanti dikabulkan. Tentu saja, saat bapak mendengar permohonan anak melalui sang bunda, karena kebaikan hati si bapak dan menyadari yang diminta sesuai kebutuhan si anak, dikabulkanlah.

Anak kecil
Karakternya persis anak bungsu yang masih kecil. Merasa dirinya paling dekat dengan bapak, paling diperhatikan dan menganggap caranya meminta kepada bapak mereka adalah yang paling benar. Si anak ini bisa merengek, menjerit, menangis sesenggukan bahkan kadang sampai berjam-jam. Kadang si anak menambahkan dengan aksi mogok makan. Semua demi mendapatkan perhatian si bapak. Karena merasa tak tega melihat anak yang ini menangis, juga karena si bapak adalah sosok yang baik hati, dan permintaan si anak sesuai kehendak bapaknya, maka dikabulkan juga.

Anak Ja’im
Si anak ini merasa seperti sudah dewasa. Bertemu dengan bapaknya sendiri seperti berhadapan dengan Sultan yang duduk di atas singgasana, penuh rasa hormat dan formalitas “Karena dia adalah bapak saya, makanya saya harus meminta dengan sikap yang benar.” Begitu alasannya. Permohonan yang ia sampaikan hanya beberapa menit dengan penuturan yang sangat indah, setelah selesai iapun kembali melakukan tugas dan tanggung-jawab sebagai anak, karena dalam pikirannya “Saya harus membuat hati bapak senang dulu dengan melakukan pekerjaan di rumah, jika yang saya minta sesuai kehendak bapak, pasti bapak akan berikan.”

Anak bandel
Merasa kurang diperhatikan, si anak terkadang ingin bertindak sendiri sesuai apa yang ia mau. Kadang ia berani melawan nasehat dan larangan bapaknya, karena ia merasa hidup dikekang oleh semua peraturan si bapak. Anak ini lebih suka langsung bertindak dan malas untuk minta-minta ke bapak karena tidak sabar, lebih baik langsung action percuma kalau hanya ngomong ke bapak.

Apa masalahnya?
Dalam keluarga, kadang ada perselisihan. Bapak yang baik ingin tiap anaknya rukun dan bersatu walau masing-masing punya perbedaan dalam gaya meminta. Saudara si Anak mami menganggapnya aneh, karena kalo mau meminta, mengapa harus ke ibu dulu, lagipula bapak kan sudah ajarkan kalo minta langsung kepada bapak. Saudara si anak kecil kadang menyikapi sinis, mengapa harus ngambek dan meratap dulu, padahal tanpa bersikap seperti itu, bapak pasti juga dengar. Sedangkan saudara si Anak Jai’m juga heran, sama bapak sendiri tapi sikapnya formal sekali. Sedangkan terhadap si Anak bandel, semua saudara terkadang bersikap dingin dan menganggapnya seperti bukan saudara.

Apa kata Bapak?
Semua adalah anak-anak saya, semua saya perhatikan, semua saya dengarkan. Bahkan ketika ada anak tetangga meminta kepada saya, juga saya dengarkan. Ada juga keponakannya yang jika meminta menyebutnya “Om”, juga si Bapak mau terima. Bahkan ada anak-anak yang lebih suka disebut sebagai hamba dan memanggil “Tuan”, juga didengarkannya. Itulah Bapak yang baik, dia menganggap setiap pribadi adalah anak-anaknya sendiri. Masalahnya justru ada di tiap pribadi yang merasa seolah “Bapak/Tuan/Om ini hanya mendengarkan permohonanku dengan cara yang aku yakini sebagai yang paling benar dan paling berkenan.”

Outtabox thought
Ada orang-orang yang merasa paling dekat dengan Tuhan, menganggap Sang Pencipta sebagai Bapa. Di antara orang-orang ini terkadang ada perbedaan persepsi mengenai cara berdoa. Ironisnya di antara mereka yang mengaku sebagai saudara seiman, mereka saling merasa dirinya paling benar. Padahal Tuhan berjanji bahwa doa yang dikabulkan adalah yang sesuai kehendaknya, seperti diajarkan Yesus “Bapa kami yang di sorga, Dikuduskanlah nama-Mu, datanglah Kerajaan-Mu, jadilah kehendak-Mu di bumi seperti di sorga.”

Karena Bapa mengetahui kebutuhan setiap anak, Dia tidak memberi batu pada yang minta roti. Hati Bapa tersentuh saat melihat kesungguhan si anak saat berdoa, juga Bapa menghendaki agar anak-anak tak hanya bisa meminta, namun memiliki iman yang diikuti dengan perbuatan, bersikap akrab namun tetap hormat, mematuhi aturan karena itu semua demi kebaikan sang anak.

Juga seperti Bapa menyayangi para anak, Ia ingin agar semua saling mengasihi dan memperlakukan satu sama lain sebagai saudara, tanpa perlu saling sinis atau menganggap “Sayalah yang paling benar dan paling dekat dengan Bapa.” Karena kita semua bersaudara dan punya Bapa yang sama.

 
+ yoDi +

Untuk bulletin edisi Februari, udah terbit duluan di sini…

What you’re about to read will shock you.
Yes! you will soon find out about some
secrets.. well, soon it’s no longer secret.

These are all about men and women,
an interesting theme as always.
A new friend inspired me to write this.
We’ve discussed a lot and surely
you wanna know what I’ve shared with the lady.

She added me as friend, after seeing my
poetry (GREAT LIFE) and thus from there
we started … ah! Cut this, let’s get
into the article, please…

* Phases in male’s life

From a boy, to a guy, then a man, then
back to act like a guy then a boy again.

That’s what men do!

They grow up until 10, as boys.
They do whatever they WANT.

From 11 to 20, they’re guys
and do will do what they CAN.

From 21 to 40, they’re soon or
later will grow-up as men.
This is when they do what they MUST DO.

This is the phase of responsibility.
It begins since the pregnancy (of his wife),
where he will change to be more calm
and considerate.

Once he’s craved with adult magazines,
then soon he’ll leave those as he can
see his wife daily. Then he’ll search
books and magazine about parenting,
besides finance and some hobbies.

Once his brain was in the middle of his
thighs, then he will learn to control
his lust and can really think with his head.
Yes.. it’s the upper head!

Once his attitude was childish, now he
must be a role model for his juniors.

BUT… soon as their kids are teens,
they may also follow the puberty, yeah…
the second one for him.

And when the teens are growing and leaving the

house, he may return into a boy again, trying new

toys and eat new snacks never existed when he was

once a boy or visiting amusement centre…
with grand-children.

* Main differences

Remember a quote once said:

The age of a woman is measured from her face and her

dressings.

The age of a man is measured from his thoughts,
attitude and behaviour.

Men, their life phase is like a curve.
There will be a turning point!

Women are always growing.. older.
But the main difference in the attitude,
contrast with men, is on the attitude
towards competition.

For women, to win means to make everybody happy.
When she has an achievement, it is to make
her family proud.

For men, to win means to defeat others and
they place the relationship at next priority.
"I win, and you lose! Haha… that’s it!"

* Job application

Now, two analogies.. when he’s looking for
a woman.. what is it that he really want?

It’s like a company looking for an employee.

Some prefer fresh-graduate (younger girl),
some want experienced (mature lady).

The initial screening is by looking
at the photo (face and appearance),
then he will learn her profile.

The 1st interview is the 1st date.
This is where 1st impression very important.

Failed to impress him, then there will never
be a second date / interview.

The second interview is to negotiate salary
and giving job descriptions (measuring and
comparing between ‘dating budget’ and the
expectation from a girlfriend)

Then the first three months is crucial
as trial period. It’s all about adjustment!
If this phase is done, then contract will be
signed (from dating into relationship)

The first two years are the moments where
employee (the girl) evaluate his boss.
There may be another offer, a higher salary
(a richer guy) or a better facility.

If she felt the employer isn’t promising,
she will resign and find a better job.

But if both are satisfied, the status will
raised into partnership (marriage) and many
more duties for her. She will be functioned as:

- Personal counsellor
- Chef
- Masseur
- Finance controller
- Baby-sitter
- Private tutor
- And in the day of retirement… as nurse!

* Advertising

The second analogy, a guy looks out for a girl,
is like a company promoting a product.

He must advertise, try to seek attention,
sending love letters, romantic SMS, poetry, etc.

The prospective buyers will compare, which
product is best. She must be selective with
all the ad:

- Is the quality of the product as good as
the promise in the ad?

- Is he really serious and responsible or
just a charmer and flirt-master?

If she’s interested, she will buy
(Agree to go on a first date, that is
first purchase)

If she’s satisfied then she will buy more
but unlike customers, she.. of course, won’t
tell her friends to try to date him.

There! Customer loyalty, it’s the same
concept. If a guy cannot maintain his quality,
his customer (girlfriend) may look elsewhere.

There are competitors! Some offer cheaper price,
some promise to have more benefits. But when
the loyalty is settled, don’t worry.. she will
be your customer forever!

But unlike in retails, you are NOT trying
to have as many customers as you like!
Unless you’re agree with polygamy, of course…

So guys.. be balance!

Even if you’re really good inside-out, but
you never advertise, no girls will know!

The same thing in industry, no matter how
fine your product, but they never seen the ad,
then who would know?

But if you advertise too much and without
improving your own quality, then it’s same as
just an empty promise.

Girls will notice you… but then…
you’ll have a stamp on your forehead,
given by them. What word you want?

* Nasty shield

Some girls are nice, and I mean more than
ordinary. Have both brain and charm!
Also an achiever… wowww!!

Many guys try to hit and pick her.
And many fail! She’s too hard… too far
beyond reach and simply… too cold!

It’s her nasty shield!

Why? Imagine, you’re walking everywhere.
Many eyes are like spotlights all around
you, from head to toe… some eyes got stuck
in the middle to those who have extra size!

Many admire you and many always wanna try
to get to know you. Then you always try to
be nice to every guys, and make them think
that you’re giving them a chance.

Subconsciously, you then will develop
a "formal and serious mode" whenever you
feel a signal "Oh ow.. here comes another
admirer, trying to flirt me."

Then, soon, the pretty lady will become
a bit nasty and grumpy. She won’t be nice
to every guy. Just to protect herself from
being approached all the time.

It’s not her fault for being such a sun
among sunflowers!

But the guys, they follow her everywhere,
throwing jackets whenever she steps in,
open the door for her, buy her gifts and
flowers.

But… it’s all useless!

She’s not interested with all too much
attention. They try to get her without
attempting to build a chemistry at the
first steps.

And… many guys are too afraid to give a shot
on this "A-grade and five star quality" lady.

It makes her annoyed to see those silly faces
waiting on the line, just to be the next
hero for her. Ouch!

What… yeah what would be the solution?
I mean, to break her "nasty-shield" and
in the end win her heart

- Be cool!
Treat her as if you’re not stunned by her charm

- Don’t praise her too much
She had heard "you’re so… " hundred times
from many guys, probably. You will only
be adding her statistic. Give compliment
occasionally, on the right moment.

- Equal
Make yourself level with her. If she’s smart,
be smarter than her, but let her always think
that she is smarter.

- Walk beside her NOT under her feet
Yeah.. you’re not a red carpet for the
home-coming queen. Do not worship her,
just treat her as a friend.

- Build before buy
Build the chemistry first, then you may
afterward buy her gifts. Do not bribe or
trying to make her love you by money or
anything you afford to buy. Without the
feeling, you will only receive a quick,
polite and formal "Oh, thank you…"
whenever you send her anything.

- Lead her
Don’t be indecisive by asking too much
of her opinion. Dare to challenge her ideas
and surely never ask "Where are we going?"

Set up a plan first before you date her.
Then on the next occasion, let her decide
and you just follow.

Have a purpose and sense of direction.

Make your own life, don’t always ask her advice.
She may be smarter, but never make yourself
act like a strayed stranger all the time.

* Which would you choose?

Many guys I know, they said girls can be divided
into two categories

- Junk food OR
delicious and healthy cooked meal?

- An eye-candy OR
a lady?

And for girls…

- A bad-boy OR
a nice guy?

Remember the rat in Ratatouille, he want to be
a chef, to create delicious meal.

"Don’t eat garbage food!"

Fast-food is simple, cheaper, can be bought
in many places. When we buy the burger in many

cities, all tasted the same!

But it’s not good for health!

Cooked meal must be prepared, not with a simple
process. Not with machine, but hand-made.
It’s more expensive but it’s more delicious
and good for health!

Eye-candy are those who dressed-up too much,
or too few in clothing.

It’s good only for seeing, but
not worth keeping. They’re only good for
decorations in magazine’s pages, on-stage or
in parties, but … can they be a good mother?

Surely it’s a risk for your baby if she’s
a chain-smoker and addicted to booze.

The same thing is to guys. Do you want a
speedy street-racer or a calm gentleman to drive
for you and your kids?

***

That’s it for today… wait for my next articles.

There! Now, all secrets are revealed…

Quick, tell this page to your friends…
let them learn something new here.

+ yoDi +